Wow. It's amazing how I can really want something intellectually, and really want something else physically. I'm sure you know what I mean. I really want to be fit and healthy, and I really want to eat unhealthy food. I have always recognized the similarity between addictions to things like alcohol and drugs and my relationship with food. It's like being temporarily possessed by another self that only wants gratification. We often think of how stupid smoking is, or other addictive behaviors, but we know from experience that it's tough to say no to that brownie, or we have "just a little" ice cream. Some people say you can't be addicted to food. I'd like to suggest that you can. I've felt what it feels like to be compelled by food, and what it feels like to free myself of the compulsion. That's a beautiful feeling.
One thing I know about myself is that every day, I have to start over. I have to have new resolve, and recommit to my goals. Even so, I often don't make it through the day without making a choice that is contrary to my goals. I think the solution is greater mindfulness. Although I haven't made a practice of it, I think having a midday renewal of my commitment is a good idea for me. Once a day in the morning is not enough. My resolve is very strong in the morning. I awaken with enthusiasm and a positive attitude. But as the stress of the day begins to mount, my resolve is often replaced by compulsive, anxious behaviors. I need to reset more often than once a day. I need to do it as often as necessary to stay focused on what I truly want, what my intellectual self wants.
Today is Day One. Tomorrow is a new day. Another Day One. Each day, no matter how many days pass, will always be a new beginning, a new chance to strive for being my best. I love that.
P.S. I'm looking for accountability buddies, right now. Would you like to join me on my journey? If you do, message me tonight before 10pm PDT, and you'll be glad you did. :)
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