Weekly Weigh-In, and staying calm

I am trending downward this week, which is good. I am determined that December will be a good month for me in terms of weight loss, as well as other areas of self-improvement.

My house is getting more organized. I tackled the "office" area last weekend, and it's much more functional now. I catalogued my Arbonne inventory and organized it on a shelf in the storage room. I have lots of paperwork to sift through, which takes time, but not so much space.

We have started decorating for Christmas, which I love to do. It looks like we should be able to get our tree up this weekend. Then it will really feel festive! I will post a video when the house is clean/decorated, so there is an "after" video to go with the "before" video I posted earlier!

One thing I have noticed about myself is that when I have weight loss deadlines (so to speak), I get anxious. This is a problem, since my usual method of coping with anxiety is to eat. One of the deadlines that causes me the most anxiety is my appointment with my surgeon. I have actually postponed my visit with him twice since the summer, hoping that I can lose more weight before I meet with him, and not feel so ashamed of myself. The fact of the matter is, I want to get this hernia surgery taken care of, and he has said he wants me to lose a certain amount of weight before he will do it. So, since I'm feeling okay, I just push back the appointment, hoping that I will lose a sufficient amount of weight before we meet again. Well, I have another appointment on December 13. I have decided that I will go to this one, no matter what. It's good for me to let him evaluate my health as well. My goal is to get the surgery done before I go to Rome in March. But I will need to have it done several weeks in advance of that trip in order to heal up. That puts me around the middle of January. With about 25 pounds to lose before I am "skinny" enough, that's going to be hard, especially at the rate I've been going. But what I need to do to manage my anxiety is to shift my thinking a little bit.

The anxiety really comes from feeling ashamed of not accomplishing more. But I can take a step back and say, "Maybe I could have lost the weight by now, but I haven't. Regardless, I'm moving in the right direction. I can't go back in time, but I can make decisions today that will help me to get where I want to be, eventually."

I'm really not sure how fast I can lose weight. I'm not sure I can lose it fast enough to get the surgery done before the trip. But I need not feel ashamed of myself. It doesn't help anything. What helps is for me to make the choices today that point me in the right direction and keep me making progress. If I'm heading the right direction, and I'm moving, I will eventually get where I want to be.

Why I love my job :)

I absolutely love my job. I actually have lots of different jobs and responsibilities. But today I am referring specifically to my job as an Arbonne consultant. I love my job for lots of reasons. Let me see if I can articulate them. 

For starters, I really do love the Arbonne products. I wouldn’t have decided to become a consultant if I didn’t. They do what they are supposed to do. But that’s the obvious reason. The deeper reason I love my job is because of who it helps me to become. 

I really admire the people I work with. I have met so many amazing people through Arbonne! They really inspire me. And when we get together, we have the best time! The culture of Arbonne is all about giving and sharing and helping each other succeed, which I love. It’s not competitive at all. In some work settings, in order for one person to succeed, others have to fail. It’s not like that at all in Arbonne. I always leave an Arbonne gathering feeling inspired and motivated to be my best self. 

The men and women who are successful in Arbonne have several qualities in common. They are confident and outgoing. They have a positive attitude. They carry themselves well, and are really put together. They know who they are and where they are going, and they do what it takes to get there. I think these are really good qualities, and I like the idea of possessing them myself. One of the really important things I have learned in my short journey as an Arbonne consultant is that it is in the process of doing my job that I become that kind of person. ANYONE can be successful as an Arbonne consultant, including me. That’s what I’ve learned. Some people have more of these qualities when they start out, and they might succeed a little faster than others. But that’s okay. As I do what is required of me to be successful, I acquire the attributes I described above. The inverse is true as well. As I strive to be more positive, more confident and outgoing, I am more successful in my work. The reason that the people who are successful in Arbonne have those characteristics in common is because they have gone through the process that I am going through right now. It is a process of becoming someone new, of changing, of transforming. 

I’ve said it before, but I love this process. I am so excited to improve myself and become a better version of me. On the days when I am pushing myself and growing, I feel a sense of lightness, which is a great feeling. 

Have a great week!

Weekly Weigh-in, and a large dose of perspective

After a week of eating in restaurants, traveling, a wedding reception and Thanksgiving dinner, not surprisingly, my weight and measurements are up a bit. Time to get back on the wagon.

This week has changed my perspective on life a bit. I think it's pretty common that big life events do that. Whether it is a birth, a marriage, a death, or other significant event, there often comes with it a recollection of what is truly important in life.

As most of you already know, my daughter was married this week. The week began with our family traveling to Utah for the occasion. We stayed in the home of Troy's brother and his family. They have four girls, and our kids love to interact with each other. We were reunited with our daughter Dana and her fiancé Cameron. We spent time together, we laughed and had fun, and we scrambled around to tie up any loose ends before the wedding. We visited with other aunts. uncles and cousins, and were introduced to and reacquainted with several of Cameron's family members as well.

In our faith, marriage is more than just a uniting of a man and woman in this life. It involves several sacred covenants with God and binds a couple to one another and to God for eternity. It can only be entered into after demonstrating through one's actions a strong commitment to living God's laws. It represents what amounts to passing through the final door that leads to the path of eternal life. I guess my point is that this is a big deal in Dana's life.

One of the privileges of this week was being able to see Dana and Cameron together. They are a wonderful example of what true love looks like. They despair whenever there is a moment that they have to let go of one another's hand. Their faces are glowing with love and joy. We teased them as we took photos after the wedding that they needed to work on having a look of genuine happiness. At one point, Cameron's aunt leaned over to his brother Andrew and said, "Cameron's going to go through his quota of kisses for the day," to which Andrew replied, "Oh, no. He got the unlimited plan."

Our week culminated with Thanksgiving dinner at Troy's parents' home, with all of his family (minus Dana and Cameron, of course).

In lieu of telling you every amazing moment, I will tell you some things that I was reminded of this week. For starters, family is one of the most important things we have in this life. Our family relationships make up who we are, and they extend into eternity. There is true joy to be found in these relationships, especially if we treat each other well and look for the good in each other. Also, there is nothing more uplifting than witnessing true love in action. It is a refreshing testament to what is really important in life.

As I went through the week, my worldly cares disappeared from my view. I was completely focused on family and the joy that comes from these relationships. As I have arrived home, I find myself not wanting to enter back into the world that I was in when I left. I know I have to, of course. So now I want to figure out a way to keep that joy with me and bring it into my everyday life, instead of leaving it behind. I can't say that I've figured out how to do that, but I am going to try. It makes my daily reflection time take on new importance. Reflecting on the joy I felt this week will give me an opportunity to remember what is important each day. Perhaps by doing that, I will treat my children with more love and kindness, be more patient with my husband, and be more willing to do things for others. If I can do that, I know that I will have more joy in my everyday life.

And so, I jump back into my life today, somewhat reluctantly, but eager to make every day feel a little more like a special day filled with joy and love.

Weekly Weigh-In!

I am up a half a pound this week. I'm not at all surprised, because of the time of the month and because I didn't always make the best food choices this week. I'm still working on that, and I'm sure I always will be. But I'm making improvements.

Some things I have learned, or have been reminded of, so far:

• There are ups and downs, but the idea is to keep moving generally in the right direction.
• Even as I become more comfortable with myself, I have to remember to keep pushing myself. I can accept myself for who I am and still work to improve myself.
• Real change is hard. I should expect it to be hard.
• Real change doesn't happen from wishing and hoping--it happens when I do something.
• Deciding to make a change and planning to make a change are only the beginning. I then have to ACT.
• Don't discount the positive. It's not helpful. Discounting the negative, however, can be helpful.
• It's okay to give myself credit and feel good about the good things I do, even if I don't do EVERYTHING right.

I will probably do my weekly weigh-in on Thursday next week, because I am leaving to go to my daughter's wedding!!! Have a great week, everyone!!!

Homemaking--The Fine Art of Moving Stuff Around

One day it occurred to me...when I am cleaning my house, I am just moving stuff around. I move the dirty dishes from the table to the sink, to the dishwasher. I move the clean dishes from the dishwasher to the cabinet. I move the dirty laundry from my kids’ floors (usually) to the hamper. I move the hamper to the laundry room. I move the clothes from the hamper to the washer, to the dryer. I fold the clothes and move them to the kids’ rooms, where they hopefully get moved to a drawer or closet. Of course, they will soon be moved out of the drawer and onto their bodies, then back onto the floor. I move toys from the floor to the shelf. I move bed sheets. I move throw pillows from the floor to the couch. I move groceries from the store shelf to the cart, from the cart to the conveyor, from the conveyor to bags. I move the bags from the cart to the car to the kitchen. I move the food from the bags to the cabinets and the fridge, then take them out to make them into dinner or school lunches. I move the dirt on the floor by moving a broom. I move more dirt with a vacuum cleaner, a dust rag, a mop, a toilet brush. You get the idea. I know...you got it a long time ago. :)

So what’s the point of all of this moving stuff around? Is there a point? Once I move it, it’s going to get out of place, and I’m going to have to move it again. Nevertheless, I argue that there absolutely is a point to all of this. There is a great purpose to what we do as homemakers. 

What we are doing when we do all of this moving of stuff is creating order out of chaos. We are order artists! We are creative geniuses! Put that on your next resumé! I think that things naturally tend toward chaos, and that order has to be created. I also think that order is a Godly attribute. At the very least, it brings peace to a situation or space, don’t you think? So as we daily, repeatedly move our stuff around, we are creating an environment of order that blesses the lives of our family members, and ourselves, I might add. So next time you are immersed in the tedium of folding laundry or cleaning out the fridge, remember that you are doing a great work. You are creating order out of chaos. You are creating a masterpiece! And then smile. :)

My next big challenge--learning to take care of my house

Have you ever seen the show Clean Sweep or Clean House? Well, today's post is my "before" video of my house. I am not a good housekeeper. At home, I focus on relationships and ignore our physical surroundings. I have decided that I want to do a better job of taking care of the house. It will help our family in so many ways. Some women have to nag their husbands to help around the house. That is not the case with us! Troy is much tidier than me, and the clutter causes him stress. So it's much more likely that he is the one to encourage us to do some cleaning. I appreciate that I don't have to nag, and I appreciate his willingness to work around the house. He never sits to watch a game unless he's folding laundry or multi-tasking in some way. But I also have a lot of guilt about my shortcomings as a homemaker. This process of becoming a better homemaker is as much a psychological issue for me as it is an issue of managing the stuff in our home. I felt a little bit like an exhibitionist making this video. Like maybe I shouldn't be bringing you into this part of my life. But I also know how much I have benefitted from sharing my physical challenges, and the support I have received. So I decided to go for it. Being open is a very important part of my transformation process. Thank you all for your support!

Weekly Weigh-in! A conversation with my future self

Hello all! I posted my changes for the last week--two more pounds down! Considering it was the week of Halloween, and I ate more candy than I thought I would, I was happy. There is still candy in the house, so I am practicing strengthening my resolve and reminding myself what I REALLY want. In theory, I am 1/10 of the way to my goal. The goal is kind of arbitrary--I may find that I am happy at a weight that is higher than 125. I'll have to wait and see. Although 1/10 may seem like a small fraction, I think it's helpful for me to look at how far I've come. If my journey was from Ann Arbor to San Francisco, I would be around Chicago now. So I've made a significant dent. And I'm on my way, which I wasn't a month ago. :)

I made a video on Friday but haven't posted it yet because of technical difficulties, or technical incapabilities. :) I'll put it up when I figure it out.

One of my friends suggested I have a conversation with my future self, like they sometimes do on The Biggest Loser. If any of you are fans of The Office, you might remember Jim's prank where he sent faxes to Dwight from Future Dwight. That's what I thought of when I thought of doing this. :) What I've decided to to do is write a little note from me to my future self, and one from the perspective of my future self to myself now. I think it's valuable to look at the future as though it has already arrived, so my mind can visualize and grasp what I am trying to become. And so...

Dear Future Suzy,

I'm on my way to meet you, and I'm so excited! I can't wait to meet you and get to know you better. I bet we have a lot in common. I've heard lots of great things about you. Sometimes this journey seems like it's going a little slow for my liking. But I know that I can't meet you until I travel this path. Sometimes the road is smooth and easy, and other times it's really steep, and I feel like I'm even slipping backwards. Thankfully, I eventually get my footing and press forward again. I've also noticed that as I move along, I am becoming stronger, and things that were once hard for me seem a little bit easier. One thing I'm certain of is that we will eventually meet up. I know this because I already decided that I won't stop until I get there. I will keep moving along, and I will hurry if I can. See you soon!

Yours truly,

Suzy

And the reply...

Dear Suzy,

I am proud of you for making this arduous trip. I know that you will make it! You are growing stronger and brighter every day as you make choices to improve your life. Real change is not easy. But with each difficult choice you make, and as each day passes, you are coming closer to where I am. It is an uphill climb, but the view from up here is amazing! You will feel like you're so high up that your feet hardly touch the ground. Life still has its challenges up here, but the strength that you gain through the journey will enable you to do things that you could never imagine you would be able to do. Sometimes you will feel like it would be easier to just give up and go back. Don't ever give up! I know that you can make it. You will feel more like your real self here than you've ever felt before in your whole life. So keep it up, and I'll be with you soon!

Lots of love,

Future Suzy

Have a great week! :)