Finding Courage when the Going Gets Rough

Today has been a hard day for me. I've been doing a pretty good job of keeping my spirits up lately, but today has been rough. My daughter and her new husband are coming for Christmas, which makes me very happy. It also means we are having company, which means the house needs to be cleaned. I have an immense amount of emotion connected with the messiness of my house. I have some deep-seated beliefs about the importance of tidiness, which may or may not be founded in truth. Here's the problem (which most of you already know)--I am not a tidy person. So basically, I go through every day with a cloud hanging over me telling me I am no good because my house is messy. In the past, I have ignored these feelings, or eaten something yummy to make me feel better. I have been working on changing those habits, and that leaves me to find other ways to cope. One of them is writing, which I am doing now :)

When I get in a situation like this, where I have to spend lots of time and energy trying to dig myself out of a pit, literally and figuratively, it can be challenging. So how can I do it? I am still figuring this out for myself. I have to take my own advice here. For one, I need to look at the situation and ask myself if I am looking at things from the bright side. Remember that post a while back? Are things really as bad as I feel like they are? Is the pit really as deep as I am making it out to be? I also need to ask myself if the beliefs I have about the tidiness of my house are true. If they aren't true, then I need to learn to let go  of them. For example, on a bad day, I tell myself that I am a bad person because my house isn't clean. I tell myself that all other women have clean houses, and that I am the only woman who can't pull it off. I tell myself that my husband should not have to help around the house, and that I am an inadequate homemaker because he has to help me. I tell myself that I should be able to do all of this by myself. You can see how believing these things can make me feel overwhelmed, and why I try to ignore these feelings instead of dealing with them.

So what now? I think the best thing for me to do today is to tell myself some true things, and to think about everything that I am grateful for. So here goes. I know that I am not perfect, and that's okay, because I don't need to be. I am grateful that I have a loving husband who wants to help me around the house. I am grateful for opportunities to improve myself by doing hard things, which include cleaning the house as well as accepting my imperfection. I am grateful that I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful new son-in-law who are coming to see me today. I am grateful that I have a warm home to live in, that is full of love. I am grateful that we have sufficient money to have lots of stuff to clutter up our lives. I am grateful for my five wonderful children who contribute to the mess around my house. We may not be very good at cleaning, but we have a great time together. My family loves me even though the house isn't perfectly clean. And although the house isn't completely clean, we have made immense amounts of progress.

And so, I'm going to go get in the car and go pick up my daughter and her hubby. And we're going to have a wonderful, happy, imperfect 10 days together. I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and a happy and joy-filled new year.

Weigh-in and an invitation

Wow, things are busy these days! I did weigh in on Friday, and my weight stayed the same last week. I have to say, staying steady in December is okay with me. I love the holidays and I love to eat, so I'm not going to be excessively strict right now. I am still using the Arbonne protein shakes and supplements, because they really help me feel well. But I am having some yummy, not-so-low-in-calories things here and there as well. :)

I was thinking about how supportive you have all been in this process, and how much that has meant to me. Thank you! Then I decided that I would like to invite any of you who might be interested to join me on my transformation journey. Maybe you want to change your body or your house like me. Or maybe there is something else you'd like to work on. Regardless, I would love your company. I think we can all benefit from hearing one another's stories and uplifting each other. 

I know some people like to start a weight loss program at the first of the year. If that's you and you're interested, I'd happily share my Arbonne consultant discount with you, at least for the first month, if you'd like to give the Arbonne program a try. It may not be for everyone, but I really like it. It's definitely a system that fits into my life and makes me feel healthy and strong. If you'd like to learn more about it, feel free to message me or leave a comment on the blog.

I will try to post one more time this week. I feel like writing about gratitude. My daughter and her new hubby are coming on Friday, so it's going to be crazy for a little while. I'm so excited that they are coming for Christmas! 

Have a wonderful day! 

Weekly weigh-in--finally!

I have been so busy with holiday stuff, I haven't had time to post! But on Friday I weighed in at 214. That's 11 pounds down so far. I'm glad I am continuing to make progress.

I have a friend who started a Facebook "biggest loser" competition for over the holidays, and I joined in on that. One more thing to help keep me motivated to make progress.

I have an appointment with my surgeon on Thursday. I am always a little bit nervous about seeing him, but it's important for me to go get my hernia checked out. I'm going to ask him about getting the surgery done before I travel to Europe in March. We'll see what he says.

Life is crazy busy. Gotta run! Have a great week!

The Importance of Leading the Way

I have written before about how I tend to ignore things that need to get done and to escape from my real life in order to come with stress. Unfortunately, this is a habit that I have passed on to my kids. We spend too much time in escape mode, playing when we should be working, putting things off, and procrastinating till it's almost too late, which really creates more stress. I am in the process of trying to retrain myself and my kids to respond to stress by acting, not by escaping.

I was talking to my daughter the other night. She's almost 18 now. I have about six months left with her in my home. We were talking about how changing is hard, and doing new things is hard.  As we talked about dealing with the stress of doing hard things, I was reminded of how I need to go first and show her the way. If I want to be a good leader, I have to give her something to follow. When I lead the way for her, even if the path is hard, she can follow in my footsteps, making her path a little easier. As she shared some of her fears, I told her that I will help her, and I will go with her as she tries to make positive changes in her life that are scary.

Change is hard. But it's usually a good thing. It stretches us and causes us to reach and grow. I want to show my kids the good that comes from stretching and growing. I want to show them that even though something is hard, it can still be done. I want to show them what it looks like and feels like to face the scary things and beat them. And when I've done that, I can take their hands and lead the way as they find the courage to make positive changes in their own lives.

Today is a recommitment day for me. I am recommitting to my weight loss program, my job as an Arbonne consultant, my family, my home, my church responsibilities, and my happiness. My list of things to do is ridiculously long, but even if I don't get it all done, I intend to make a good dent in it. I am learning not to expect perfection from myself, just a good effort. Because I sometimes get off track, I end up having to recommit myself relatively frequently, but that's okay, as long as I keep trying. Here's to another day of enjoying the journey. Have a blessed day. :)